Cycles and Transformations

A philosophical Essay on the nature of Existence and Human Psyche

Symbols of Transformation 1 by Eve G. Admon.

This reality we inhabit is one of incessant flux.

All things are constantly in the process of changing from one state of being into an another. This truth can be observed in matters both external and internal. It is manifesting itself in the flow of clouds, as the heavenly currents carry and mold them; in how a fluffy kitten grows into a slender predator; in the dissolution of alert daytime consciousness into the depths of dreamspace.

While all this change might feel chaotic, random or pointless to us, the change itself has a pattern to it. It has the form of a cycle or a spiral, and a turn of this cycle has four distinct stages to it. There is always some kind of beginning state; followed by a dynamic state of transformation; which leads to an end state; which becomes a new beginning state. This four-stage cycle is endlessly repeating itself in infinite variations — while simultaneously seamlessly interflowing with infinite number of other cycles — streaming from and towards the infinity of time — this is the flow of cycles that forms the Existence as we know it.

One may ask: is this Existence good and benevolent? Even if it seems indifferent or outright evil at times?

Some do equate the Existence with a loving God; or that the Existence is inherently good in some other metaphysical way. On the other hand, some believe that the Existence does not have innate moral qualities to it. And yet others posit that the Existence is actually malevolent or even evil in nature. And while many do hold very strong positions on one way or another in this issue, it is possible to point towards evidence in the support of all of these positions.

To me it seems that all these positions hold true at the same time. Perhaps this position I take seems unbearably unlogical to some; but to me, at this point of my life, it seems the most logical conclusion to make. After all — the good, the indifferent and the evil do in fact exist simultaneously in this reality. Why should one of those principles be more fundamental than the other?

Personally I see the Existence as a deep, astonishing and ecstatic Mystery. I do not claim to truly understand the Existence; and because I am constantly learning about It my understanding and relationship to It is also constantly evolving and shifting. Thus, what I’ve come to know this far is that the Existence is truly mysterious and that we all are equally mysterious threads on It’s web of being.

Interwoven with — but distinct from — the question of the moral quality of Existence is the question of meaning.

Does the reality itself have some meaning to it, or is it meaningless? Again there seems to be several ways to answer this question. The meaning can be seen as intrinsic; as man-given; or as altogether lacking. I myself have believed into each of these positions at different times in my life. But unlike on the question of moral quality of the reality, on this topic I do not believe all of the positions mentioned to hold true. At this point in time I believe that meaning to be an inherent quality of the Existence.

As I see it, the psychological human tendency to try and find meaning in things is a faculty of perception. In other words, the reality is meaningful in itself; and we are not only imposing the contents on our mind onto the reality but are trying to find the existing, underlying pattern of meaning within it. When we think we have found a pattern of meaning, but later find out that our attribution of meaning was incorrect, it does not show that the meaning itself was lacking; but that we, as imperfect human beings, misidentified it.

I personally believe that, as human beings, it is our task to uncover these hidden meanings of the Existence. They are to be found both within and without ourselves. The difficulties we often face in our search for meaning lies not so much within the way things are — altough they might be of ineffable nature — but within our fear of percieving correctly. After all, there are some truths so dark and tarry they might engulf us in the pits of pure terror; as well as ones of such brightness and beauty that we might be shattered like a delicate piece of glass… And still, to sip from the wells of meaning is to realize how thirsty one has been for this deep feeling of one’s Existence.

Be the nature of Existence loving or not, be it meaningful or not — the form of a cycle remains.

The change as a phenomenon itself is neither good nor bad; it simply is. But when we experience change in our lives, we don’t face it that abstractly. Indeed, the quality of change is of great importance to us. We can observe that some patterns of change are exalting to the human life and dignity, while others appear to be detrimental. Thus we place value judgements, hopes and fears upon the changes we face.

Some changes we experience to be painful and some joyful. We try to avoid certain things while trying to achieve others. The boredom of constancy might make us seek change, while the fear of unknown might make us to resist it. Even when we think things are staying the same, they are in fact changing — the teeths of time are constantly and relentlessly gnawing us. The incessant flux is always in the process of creation and unfoldment, whether we like it or not.

At certain times we appear to have power over the patterns we enter into; while on other times the Wheel of Fortune turns according to it’s own willings.

This brings us to the question of free will. Can we, from within ourselves, induce a change? Some believe the human will to be free; some don’t; while some believe it to be a mix of both.

On this question I lean on the last view mentioned. I do think that we have free will and, metaphysically speaking, we probably are much freer than we conceive ourselves to be. Simultaneously it is true that we cannot will into being whatever it is that we want. We are bound by numerous material, psychological and spiritual conditions — both internal and external — that restrict the manifestation of our desires.

In fact, even if our will is far freer than what we usually imagine it to be, it does not follow that we know what it is that we have willed into being. In my view, our conscious mind and our will are not one and the same thing. On the contrary, the latter is often — perhaps even usually — an unconscious force operating in our lives.

The wheel of actions and consequences is always turning. We feed our will into it irregardless of whether or not we know we are doing it. Indeed, we cannot stop the flow of karma — but we might be able to alter it by becoming more conscious of ourselves.

A certrain type of human change especially fascinates me. That is the inward transformation; the metamorphosis of psyche.

The human development does not end with the maturation of the body from childhood into adulthood. While the process of physical maturation of the body is quite determined — it happens without our conscious willing — the inner development relies greatly on the will of the person to continue on.

Nevertheless, the roots of this process do lie deep in the ancient structures of the human body and psyche. This inherent potentiality for transformation can be likened to a seed which, from the moistened darkness of the unconsciousness, can begin to transfrom into a sprout; reaching towards the faint hints of the light of consciousness. This process of inner transformation is the hidden Alchemy of Spirit. It is the transmutation of the Led of base consciuousness towards the noble Gold of higher consciousness.

Within this process the very depths of human soul are entered into. As such, it is truly a great quest into the unknown; and as such, it has true dangers to it. Passing through the Mysteries requires perseverance, courage and strength — but for those who pass through it succesfully, the magnitude of it all can be staggering to fathom. Feeling like an oak tree, quietly observing the husks of acorn it once was…

The transformation of the psyche — the rising of the Spirit.

Symbols of Transformation 2 by Eve G Admon.